Reflections on the Upside of My Losses (Jan 2011)
Almost two weeks ago I shared with you my experiences around living through my recent losses.
The grieving process is ongoing, and sadness keeps coming back in the most unexpected and awkward moments. However, overall I’m feeling much better and have moved deeper into the stage of integration. This also allows me to reflect and spend some time pondering on the last few months.
As with most things in my life so far, even this sad chain of losses has presented me with some unique and valuable gifts. Let me tell you what I mean with that:
- For being alive and healthy. Yep, loosing a dear friend to cancer has sure cracked me open to a deeper level of appreciation for being alive and in such good health
- For having a better rational understanding (through the course I took around “Loss & Grief”) and now also a deeply ingrained personal experience of what it means to grieve
- For all the lessons learnt
- In that recent chain of events I came to a point where I couldn’t do anything but surrender to my emotions, my being-out-of-control and my learning. I felt humble – in a beautifully human way
- Sharing my grief and feelings with other people helped me connect with them on a deeper level and feel real and alive
- Having been in that sad place where I felt very raw, vulnerable, helpless and deflated, I now can relate much better to other people’s pains and feel greater compassion toward them and myself
- Life will always go on. As hard as the recent blows were for me, yet again this experience has shown me that life always goes on. Somehow I always make it through tough phases, I learn to deal with them, possibly make sense of and learn from them.
These losses are new experiences to add to my book of life. They left me bereft in some areas, enriched in others and certainly very happy to be alive.
What did you learn from the losses in your life? What were the gifts you received?